So the other day i went on a school trip and whenever the teacher said something like ‘come this way gang’ or ‘come on gang’ or whenever he called us ‘gang’ this kid would shout ‘gangbang’ and the teacher never found out who it was

So today i had sports day and me and my friends were sat on the field pushing each other around and so forth and this boy went ‘don’t touch each other. Well touch each other emoitionally not physically’ and i looked at him like he was speaking another language and now i get it OMG that was deep

So today i had sports day and me and my friends were sat on the field pushing each other around and so forth and this boy went ‘don’t touch each other. Well touch each other emoitionally not physically’ and i looked at him like he was speaking another language and now i get it OMG that was deep

There’s two types of old couples:
(Scene: car crash. Elderly man escapes but his wife is still in the burning car)
Scenario one: no, you listen here! You get my goddamn wife out of goddamn car or I’ll go in myself and you’ll be charged with my death!
Scenario two: DON’T YOU DARE GO RESCUE MY WIFE FROM THAT CAR! I’VE WAITED 69 YEARS TO GET RID OF HER! DON’T RUIN THIS SPECIAL MOMENT FOR ME!

So this one time in my music class we had to tidy up so i was wandering around aimlessly acting like i was tidying up and this kid comes up to me. Lemme remind you he was a short, innocent looking slovak immigrant, anyways, he comes up to me, very close, close enough to kiss me, stares me in the eyes and says ‘I just touched the teachers bum’ and i honestly have never laughed so hard it was so funny look my friend moved to American yesterday I’m sad this is the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now

I want to be one of those unpopular kids that has like 5 friends and they’re the only friends each other have and it has to work like: 1 Mexican, 3 hillbillies and 1 Iggy Azalea/Nicki Minaj. I want to go up hills on special nights and set off fireworks and eat fast food. I want to go in a cow pen and race the animals while under age drinking. I want to sit on rooftops at night and watch the sun go down. I want to be one of those kids that does underage things but not to be cool but because i want to. I want to be edgy, daring. I want climb up trees with my best friend that becomes a lover as we get older and watch the sun set while drinking lemonade and asking romantic questions. I want to be that kid that spends all their time with their ‘unpopular’ friends but I don’t care that we’re unpopular because we’re like family. I want to climb up a hill or into the country and set up a barabeque and eat possum and ketchup and drink coke and beer. I want to be like that but i have literally no friends and it hurts like shit.

so the other day i was waiting at school in the morning with my friends and it was just me and this other kid and this car comes through the road, slows down a little bit, and our friend jumps out of the car. he shouted something in Lithuanian and came to join us and i was like. You. just. jumped. out. of. a. moving. car.